Some of you may say that there is no such thing as a saved person living in depression, well you’re right; but there are so many that are living in depression and not know that it is depression. This is another sign of poverty people are not aware of it, so I am glad to share my testimony about depression so that others can be set free!
I have asked the Lord to remove every stench of poverty from my life. Since that prayer, where poverty is, has been exposed, even reasons of why His true prosperity has held up. Depression is one that has held me back from the prosperity that my Abba, Father wants me to experience. I share this to expose the lie that you thought you had to live, and prayerfully you will see that Jesus truly can that you have life more abundantly.
For years, I found myself struggling with depression. It was so bad until I was prescribed medication for being depressed and I was on it for years. Depression started when I was very young, but was not recognized until my adult years. Yes, Prozac was a very good friend of mine, I’m sad to say. So many years I spent in the state of depression not understanding what or why.
After doing a personal research I discovered some of the depression stems from generations, other signs was either not recognized or/and denied. Many families don’t notice depression or don’t want to admit that depression could be a results to certain behavior patterns in family members or themselves. I, myself, could not pin point what brought the on the seasons of depression that kept rolling in every year, this happens to a lot of people but its not recognize right away, its not until they notice certain patterns of behavior reoccurring.
Depression comes in as a seed through child bearing, child birth and childhood years, the time of innocent. Negative things spoken over a child in these various stages of life grows as a child grows, at some point the seed has to develop it’s character. Now the feeling and actions of that seed is in operation and many times without a reason. Many people can’t understand why they feel lonely, grieved, or rejected, full of doom and failure! For me, it was frustrating to be feeling okay then all of a sudden, it was like a dark cloud were just sitting over me, and everything that I wanted to accomplish became so far out of my reach and all seemed as though I was experiencing failure and all hope was lost. All this came from seeds planted in me by human beings that did not understand the importance of my life in God and those seed had taken its own course in my life.
I experienced so much depression in life so when I was injured and had physical back issues, depression went up a notch. When the pain came, depression came as well. I didn’t know when the back pain would end and sometimes, it was months before I had a good day. With all those years mixed of past hurts, harmful words spoken, back pain and seasonal depression which mostly shown up for the months of September to January, it was hard to break; and I truly could not break it by myself. About two and half years ago, is when I decided to trust God and no longer take depression medication. I was so tired of taking substance that was not sustaining any area of my life. Between the depression and anxiety medication I can honestly say both gave me false dreams and visions; yes, it was all a lie!
I begin to ask the Lord to help me crawl out of the bottle of depression pills and that I wanted to experience the joy that I’ve heard so many people lived and talked about. I knew the day that I stated the fast would be a journey of transformation and I had to learn His way through reading and meditating on His Word. Learning to step over each pills in that bottle took me diving in to what my Father IS saying about me and not what WAS spoken over me through someone who didn’t understand why I had to be different from others.
Now that I am free depression, the residue of it always knocks on the door of my soul, but now I use the depression as a weapon to step over obstacles, not live in depression. So I don’t have to eat food to feed it, I now have other ways of pulling down it’s stronghold; one, reading and listening to the word of God; two, writing or other worship methods that My Heavenly Father has given me use against it.
As my relationship with my Father grows, I now understand that the depression is not a threat to me, but its a threat to my future. The Lord plans for my future is in His hands; I can stop the course when I allow the depression to control my actions concerning my future, so I must be aware of my surrounding at all times. You see, there will always be situations or circumstances that will try to bring the spirit of depression back in our lives, that is the time to lean in the Word of God that our joy be filled and strengthen, because the JOY of the LORD is our STRENGTH! And it is in HIs Word that we find how our Father really feels about us.
Knowing what Abba, Father is saying about me, I can decree and declare that when the enemy comes in like a flood the Lord has lifted up a standard against any and everything that was said against me and my future and it shall not grow anymore, that seed is dried up and my Abba, Father blew it all out of my mind and my heart. I’m standing on the scripture in Matthew 15:13 that says, Jesus replied, every plant not planted by my heavenly father will be uprooted! So whatever has been spoken over me at birth or childhood even adulthood that was not planted by my Abba, Father has no effect because it is now uprooted! I call the same in your life now, in Jesus’ Name. So every character of every childhood nicknames that was not good is now uprooted, every feeling of loneliness, rejection, suicidal, unworthy act and characteristics is now uprooted and renounced from our lives, in Jesus’ Name!
We are accepted by Abba, Father, our Heavenly Father, we are accepted by HIM. We are loved by Him. His beloved we are! I am the apple of His eye, I am the one HE choose as His Royal Nation to do all good things, we are a good thing! I was created to give Him glory! He plant good things in me therefore only good will come forth out of me for His Kingdom purposes! Depression may knock but I the chosen one of the Most High God will not open the door but set my mind and heart on my King who loves me and adores me enough to engraved me in HIS hands and no one can take me out.
Be Free, in Jesus’ Name